Oh man, oh man. I hate writing bios. So very much. In fact, I have an entire set of rules around bio writing, which is that I:
1) do it as little as possible;
2) only for friends; and
3) never charge.
That last one might seem odd, but there’s a strange sort of logic behind it. First off, bios are typically very short pieces (at least they darn well should be–250 words is usually sufficient, and anything over 500 makes readers’ eyes cross). They’re quick to research and quick to write. In theory, they should only take a couple of hours. In reality, they tend to take twice that long, because you have to transcribe five times more notes than necessary and then rewrite the copy two times. That’s still only four hours… and even if you bill $100 an hour (which I don’t), it’s still not that much money.
However. If you bill… then you can bet your pinkie finger that whomever’s commissioning the bio will come back to you with revisions and rewrites at least four times. Maybe more. In fact, he or she might never be satisfied at all. That person will, however, feel that he or she already paid you enough (people never budget much for bios), and that you should make their tweaks for free. Ad infinitum.
So I figure, write bios as a favor, don’t accept any money, and you’re entitled to put the kibosh on rewrite madness whenever you please. But once you accept that lousy few hundred bucks… well, then you’re in over your head.
Thing is, bios are so intensely personal–a life story, a public manifesto, a distillation of character–that most people will never, ever be quite satisfied with their own. Every word in it carries great significance. Every clause gets analyzed right into the ground. And then, 70 percent of the time, the client will turn around and rewrite it, throw in 200 words extra, and tell you that that’s what he or she really wanted the whole time. (Except soon thereafter, he or she will tire of it and bring in someone else to write it again.)
Nobody realizes that there are approximately a zillion bios floating around in the world today, and unless you’re Barack Obama or Lindsay Lohan, nobody really gives a damn about yours. I mean, come on. How many of you have read my bio?
Nonetheless, I’ve rewritten my bio at least 50 times. At the moment, I have three versions floating around the internet, plus several more in print. They all reflect me. They all serve their purpose perfectly. Yet, none is quite right. Actually, I hate them all. If I’d hired someone to write these bios, I would be demanding rewrites for sure.
I’m only human.
Anyway, the reason that this is important at the moment is that I’ve just delivered the rough draft bio copy for Greg and Kevin over at Medici. I think I did a pretty good job. I tried to take good notes, use good quotes, include all the important stuff and still keep the copy tight. I feel OK about it, really.
However, I know that within 48 hours, there will be comments, questions and suggested rewrites in my inbox. Which is fine. And will be fine a second time as well. But after that, no more.
OK, well, maybe a couple of tweaks. Quick edits. Typo corrections, if need be (though I hope I’m not that sloppy). But that’s it. No, really, guys. I mean it this time…
This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 4th, 2007 at 3:30 pm and is filed under Laptop Meditations, Medici Lounge. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.One Response to “Other People’s Stories”
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December 5th, 2007 at 10:46 am
That’s funny, I don’t mind writing other people’s bios; I just hate writing my own. I think most people do which is why they ask someone else to do it.
C. Worrall